Time flies...and a bit about singleness?!

So, here's the thing. My brain is freaking out a bit. I've been home from my trip for SIX MONTHS now. Excuse me, what?!

That's insane. Maybe it's just me, but I have a hunch all my fellow DTSers are feeling the same way if they've realized as well how long it's been.

Ok, but do you know what is even crazier? It's been ONE YEAR since I left for Australia. That makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time. It seriously doesn't seem like it's been that long. I can't believe it honestly. It's like, my brain is telling me, yeah, that's normal, it's been a year, seems possible, right? And then my soul is like wrestling around in my body all confused and sad and happy and excited because I miss Australia and my experience and my family so much, I'm happy I was able to experience it, and excited for what's next to come! Whenever I drive by the airport, I get this ping of sadness in my chest. Like I physically feel it. Just remembering what it felt like to leave my family for half of a year and go do this thing I had been wanting to do for such a long time is an incredibly powerful feeling that I really can't explain. I'm sure a lot of you reading this have experienced this in some form, so maybe you can try to make sense of these jumble of words.

I feel like maybe I'm a bit stuck at this point, like I don't know what to do with my life even though I am doing something with my life. Does that make sense? I mean, I am going to school and working but I know that that won't be my life for much longer I don't think. I know there are new things for me to experience and grow in and I'm excited for that and like I said in my last entry, I'm still trying to figure out where I fit in this world and trying to be content in this phase of life here in Wichita. I think I have reluctantly been letting God work on my heart and He's still there knocking and pounding and ringing the doorbell of my heart asking that I would let Him in even further. Gosh, that's hard, hey? I'm a work in progress, what can I say?

I've been thinking a lot about life and singleness and what that looks like and means for me at this point. Yeah, I know I'm 19 years old and I have a long time to wait and blah blah blah, but hey, people think about these things at even younger ages, right? Here's the thing. I go back and forth a lot actually of being content with being single and happy I get to enjoy my "freedom" or whatever, and sometimes I wish I was in a committed long-term relationship (even though that's the scariest thought I could think of right now). I think that singleness is a gift, even though sometimes it's painful and what not. I think God can do a lot in a single person's life because they don't have another "distraction" or whatever you want to call it. Recently  I was talking to a friend about this subject, and she jokingly said, "I don't mind being single, I just want all my other friends to be single too!" Ha, it's funny,  I thought, but it's true. I mean, typical human nature wants to go along with the crowd, right? So, if all of your friends are in relationships and getting married and starting families, you naturally desire that. Or most people do, I should say. So, it's hard to be single as it is, but then when your friends are getting in relationships, it's even harder. I had another friend recently write a blog about marriage and how young women and men dream about their wedding day and what it will be like, and they plan for the reception and the dress and the bouquets and the bridal party, but do they plan for the marriage? Hey, 50% of all marriages end in divorce or something crazy like that, right? I think that if people stopped focusing on the wedding (which is really only one day of your whole entire life) and planned for their marriage, maybe that statistic wouldn't be so catastrophic. I'm not saying I know anything about being in a relationship, because I don't, but I am learning that God has to do a lot in me and my future spouse before a relationship can happen. Also, I think it's really important to not sacrifice a "calling" or "life plan" or whatever you want to call it for a relationship. I mean, let's say, you want to , and you believe firmly that God is leading you into a life of missions, and you meet a guy who wants to be a real estate agent in America the rest of his life, is it worth it? Are you willing to sacrifice your passions for his for the rest of your life? And you can reverse the roles too. That's something I've been thinking a lot about too. And the thing is, I know that missions is going to be a huge part of my life in some form or the other so for me right now it's not a good idea to be in a relationship because I know that God is preparing my heart and my mind for the mission field he wants me in! I don't know, just a few thoughts about singleness.

Gosh, our God is a great God, is He not? Continually thanking Him for the crazy life He has me living right now.

Be blessed and serve well, my friends!

xoxo,
Laura.

Happenings as of late

Hello all, sorry I have been so terrible at keeping you updated since I've been back from my trip.

As you may have noticed, I changed around my blog a bit. I am no longer "aussie bound" so I decided to make it more current :)

I have been home for almost 6 months now, which freaks me out a lot. I don't quite know how to start sharing about what my life has been like because it's been a bit of everything, really. Because it would take heaps of time to summarize the last 6 months, I'll just tell you about my last few weeks, hey!

Gosh, since I've been back, my life hasn't really made much sense. To be honest, I've been pretty unhappy back in Wichita. It's like, well, I travelled the world, essentially, for 6 months, and now I am back in Kansas going to community college and working a--what most people would call--boring desk job. I've never considered myself a pessimist, in fact, most people would probably see an optimist in me just because I am so smiley and outgoing and all of that surface stuff. But really, I typically tend to see the worse in things. In people, in situations, in life. That's just a part of me, I guess. What is my purpose in life here? is the question I ask myself almost every day, or at least I did. Recently I've just been existing; I haven't even been trying to challenge myself with the Lord's calling for my life in the moment. Of course I know I should be content here because this is where God has placed me for the moment. I know that I should be actively involved in a church and in serving others. I know I should be reading my Bible every day and spending time with Christ in prayer. I know I shouldn't be wasting my days by sleeping or watching movies. I know I should be actively seeking out relationships in hope to share the joy of Christ that I have been privileged to receive. Ha! I *know* all of these things, but have I been doing them?
The simple answer is no. The simple answer is I am a sinner.

I've sort of been in this "slump" lately. It's like somehow I've been treading in this gigantic sea and have been barely keeping my head above water the whole time, in hopes that someone or something will come along and toss me a life saver. It's like I've been waiting for someone to tell me, "Hey Laura, get your life together! Quit being lazy and go do something! Quit dwelling on the past but instead live in the place God has you now!" or " Come on, Laura, you've been searching for a new church for almost 6 months now. Just pick one already!" or "Geez Laura, I know you really want to go to Germany to do missions, but why can't you do missions here?" Or maybe I'm waiting for someone to hand me the secret to contentment here. I'm waiting for all of these things to happen, and it's like finally now I have realized that the gigantic sea I was struggling to keep my head above, was really just the shallow end of a swimming pool. All I needed to do was plant my feet on Solid Ground and just do it.

I think I've been searching for all the wrong "right" things. Let me explain. So, it's great to be involved in a church, I believe God desires that of us. It's also great to be active in sharing your faith and serving the least of these. It's great to read your Bible and pray every day. I had a friend tell me last week in a moment of honesty and vulnerability that core of your relationship with Christ *isn't* your relationship with Christ. Huh? No,the core of your relationship with Christ is Christ himself. It's not about all of these things that are good and righteous and essential in our Christian walk. It's about God. It's about the sacrifice He's made for us and fact that I am alive today because of His incredible grace. Even when this friend told me this last week it didn't really click.

But today, it's like a flood of revelation washed over me. It wasn't when I was sitting in church. It wasn't when I was reading the Word. It wasn't even when I was praying. Of course, God has taught me countless and incredible life changing things in those moments, but this one was different. It was when I was sitting in my psychology class. We were watching a documentary on the functions of the brain, essentially. An experiment was done with premature babies who had to stay in incubaters for a period of time, and what the effect of physical touch was on them. So they took half of the babies in the NICU and for the duration of the time they were there, massaged them for 45 minutes every day. The other half received all of the same treatment and care except they did not receive that physical touch each day. By the time they were released, the ones in the first group had grown and improved in their condition I think 47% more than the others. And even months later they showed better ability to walk and talk. So as I'm sitting there, I'm thinking, what the heck. This is me. It's not that I'm in my beginning, or baby stages in my relationship with Christ, but for the last few months I've been, well, I guess premature. Lacking nutrients. Lacking the essentials. I wasn't receiving my touch from God. I know that sounds weird, so let me try to explain it. Of course, it's not God's fault that I haven't been receiving a "massage" or whatever metaphor you want to use from Him. It was mine. If I had been allowing myself to receive God's mighty touch in my life and just soaking in His presence, I would be in a much better place, right? But I haven't been, so I haven't been growing as much as I should or could have been. And in that moment, I realized "what the heck. I've been focusing on all the wrong things. I've been focusing on find a church, finding a place to serve, beating myself up for not reading as much scripture or praying as often as I should, when I really need to focus on MY LORD AND SAVIOUR. And right there, in the middle of my psych class, I got really excited to be in relationship with my Father again. I know that if I can just allow God to work on my heart and break down all of these barriers I've built since I've been home, everything is going to fall into place. What an exciting thing!

A friend also challenged me to think about missions and what it actually means. Shoot, I should know what missions is, right? I went on a 6 month missions trip, I should be a pro, right? HA! Wrong. I'm not. At all. When I was asked that question, I was actually totally at a loss. I had no idea. So I gave the cliche answer of course. Then I continued to think about it all day. I believe God has something for me in Germany in regards to ministry and service. I don't know yet when that will be or for  how long, but I know that it is in my future. That whole idea of wanting to go there is being shaped by God, what HE wants me to do there, not what I want to do there, even if my motives are pure or whatever. I listened to a sermon when I got home today from a pastor from South Africa, and he preached about world missions, from Psalm 96. What? He didn't use Matthew 28? The Great Commission? But, that's what all sermons on missions are about, right? Ha. Wrong again. This was brilliant. As I sit there on my bed with my Bible open and my iPod playing, I was intrigued. It's like I believed missions was about the people. Of course, it is, in sense. I mean, God calls us to make disciples of all nations, right? Well, that involves people: talking to people, serving people, loving people, helping people, encouraging people, teaching people, etc.  But what I just realized I think for the first time tonight (what, even after going on a missions trip!?) was that missions is about GOD. Missions is about declaring his name. Psalm 96:3 says "Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among the peoples". It also says "For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods. For all of the gods of the nations are idols, but the Lord made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and glory are in his sanctuary" (96:4-6). Ok, seriously though, everyone go read that whole chapter because I can't do it justice. But, I think what I realized is that the purpose of missions is to spread the name of Jesus, right? It's to tell people about God's grace. Why? Well, I believe there are two main reasons. One that I think most people, including myself, think about first, is so that people won't suffer hell, an eternal separation from God. And yes, that is a HUGE part of it. God doesn't want or desire anyone to perish, 2 Peter 3:9 says that. But I think a part of it that we are all missing is that God deserves for the world to worship Him. God desires people to praise His name. Psalm 96 uses different forms of the word "worship" over 10 times. God wants us to be in awe of Him. That's the piece I've been missing lately.

I don't claim to have this all figured out, because really, this is all new and fresh to me. But I am so excited and thankful that God is patient with me and rejoices with me when I finally figure out what He's been trying to tell me all along.

I hope that this made you think, because it's made me think a lot. Above all, I hope that this points you back to the Father and the divine sacrifice He made for us.

xoxo,
Laura.

Moldova Part 2: Realizations & Revelations

So these things that are written below were written over the course of my time in Moldova. God was moving so much in my heart in that time and I want you guys to get a glimpse into my thoughts and heart! A lot of these are scattered, mind you, so bear with me :)

Here we go...

I feel for the first time that God is changing me from the inside out. While on my lecture phase I felt like sure, God was changing bits and pieces of me, like finding my identity in Christ and not in people, and breaking down barriers of pride and such, but nothing HUGE for me personally. But since being on outreach, and actually just in Moldova, I feel like God is changing my whole entire perspective on the world. Bah, I don't know how to describe it! I feel like being in the same house for my whole life and not really experiencing much outside of Wichita, I was never able to see how other people lived in the world. Sure, I went to a few different parts of the world before I came to do my DTS, but they were all Western countries, so everyone was pretty much well off and fine. But here it's different. People don't have it good here. In America, we have it GOOD. Even people who are considered poor, are still more wealthy than most of the rest of the poverty stricken countries. It's crazy. Conditions here aren't like what we have back in the States. I really believe (now that I'VE experienced it) everyone needs to go to a third world country sometime to experience what millions of other people live like. Then it will provoke you to do something about it. These people need Jesus. They need the power of the Gospel to infiltrate their cities, their homes, their families, their streets, their HEARTS. I mean, I knew that there were places out there that were poor, but I just thought of them as so distant and just a dot on the map that I could never really impact. But that's not true. That dot on the map is full of millions of people who need Christ. I am still processing what that means for me and how I can help and be used by God in that area after I leave here and come back to the States. It's more than just tossing money at something. And it's also more than bringing salvation to people--it's discipling. Teaching them how to read the Bible, how to pray, how to live in relationship with God and with others. That's what will change a people group. I don't have answers for all the things that I just wrote there, but I'm still searching for them.

On another note, another thing that's been--for lack of a better phrase-- rocking my world is this: for the first time ever, I experienced something I never had before. This burning desire and need to spend time with God before I started my day, because I knew that if I didn't, my mind and heart would be a mess. I've never felt such an urge to spend time with God. It's incredible. That's another feeling that I don't know how else better to explain it. But I tried by best. I had a friend once tell me after being out of the country for almost 2 years doing just incredible things in different places, that once she came back to the States, she was afraid of being stagnant. That she wouldn't learn anymore, or wouldn't grow anymore. Like she wouldn't be challenged in everyday life like before. And when she told me that, I honestly didn't understand that feeling. But now I do. I am scared that when I come back, I won't have this desire for utter dependency on God like I do here because I will be comfortable. That's more scary for me than being here. Bah, just something else I'm processing.

I had an amazing time in the Word today. God keeps developing my love for scripture and for theology. I LOVE it. I never knew I was so interested in it until about a year ago. I can't wait to continue getting into it and growing more and more. I spent about 2 hours today just reading scripture and commentaries and trying to figure out challenging things in the Bible. I read the Lord's prayer today and had my eyes completely opened in a whole new way. It was awesome! It's like, I've read passages like these--like the Lord's Prayer, and the Beatitudes, and different parables in the new testament, but I just assume I know everything about them and only look at them from one angle because I've read them so many times and since I was a child too. So it's really amazing to be able to re read them now and look at them from a whole new perspective and let God show me new things through them. Somehow I feel like I need to know everything about God, and have the answer to all of these deep theological questions that are running around in my brain. And to some extent, I think it's really good for me to be researching and diving deep and trying to get to know God at a deeper level, but I also know that God can't be figured out completely. If that wasn't the case, then He wouldn't really be God. I think sometimes (or maybe just me) we forget that God is an incredibly mysterious being. I love that about Him but at the same time it frustrates the heck out of me!

To continue on in my list of things rolling around in my mind, I want to say that I'm learning not to count on one idea or plan I have for myself or my future, even if it is something I feel God has placed on my heart. I say this because I know my heart is easily swayed and I know better now how my character is and how I think and react to things. Instead, I'm learning more and more to let God lead my future completely.

I've also noticed lately that I've been limiting God. I've been limiting Him on how He can speak to me. Sometimes I'll pray that He'll speak to me in scripture, and if I don't get an answer I was searching for in scripture, then I assume God is remaining silent. Or sometimes I'll ask Him to speak to me in a dream about a specific thing, and if I wake up the next morning and can't remember the dream or it wasn't about what I prayed for, then I think, "well, God isn't speaking to me about this then". Or maybe when I ask Him to confirm something in the physical realm, and it doesn't happen, I get frustrated. But then I realized, how could I be so ignorant?! Of course God can speak in those ways, but our God is a limitless God. He can speak in any way He wants, and I shouldn't be treating Him like a transaction machine--only expecting to get EXACTLY what I asked for. I love God goes outside of our realm of understanding to speak to us in mindblowing ways. I just need to be patient and expect the unexpected from God I think.

I was reading through scripture today and just thinking about all of my amazing friends and family and comforts I have at home. And this question came to mind after thinking a lot about that and what it's like here: If everything in this world that I love was taken away from me, would God still be enough? I would like to say my answer is yes at the moment, but I'd be lying to myself and to God if I did. I long to be at the point in my life where I can say with absolute assurance, YES! I'm still processing whether that is possible for me to do in my lifetime, or humanity in general.

I was thinking a lot today about time and how weird of a concept it is to me here. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I just know it's unlike anything I've felt before. It's like time goes slow and fast at the same time, and it's almost like home pauses all the while we are learning and growing and doing so much on the other half of the world. People told me that this time was going to by quickly, and now that I've experienced it, I can say I agree. It's almost like I'm living in a different reality or something, like my life at home seems like a dream, sort of like an alternate universe. It's such a strange feeling for me. I often look back at pictures of the very beginning of this journey, before I got on my plane to go to Australia and wonder, "how did I even get here?" It's like I'm surprised at myself that I've made it this far.

I've decided that never again will I take this things for granted: a washing and drying machine, a garbage disposal, a dishwasher, showering without shower shoes, showering with hot water, having paved roads, having conversations with people in English, and lots more. I'm experiencing so many new things in these countries and I think it will be actually harder to adjust to life back home than how I adjusted here. These are just physical things, but it's seriously become so much of my life here now that I imagine it will be somewhat of a culture shock coming back home.

I was asking God today what He specifically wanted for me on this outreach, because somehow I felt like it was sort of purposeless for me. Of course, in my head, I know that I'm here on outreach to bring the gospel, but I somehow felt like I had to be preaching to the masses and seeing tons of salvations and healings and miracles, spending tons of times in orphanges, handing out food to the homeless people, etc. to be considered a "missionary" or that I'd be somehow fulfilling my expectations I had set on myself for what outreach would be like. But recently, God has been showing me that being a missionary is more than that. A lot of what we've been doing on this outreach is prayer and being support for the long term missionaries in the countries we're at. I struggled with that for a while because I thought that since people were financially supporting me with this trip, I couldn't come back with stories of how I just prayed for people on outreach but didn't necessarily see any fruits of that. Then it hit me. Well, a few things hit me. One, I was focusing too too much on what other people would think about the outcomes of my trip here, when really I need to focus on what God thinks about the outcome and what I've learned along the way. This is my first missions trip--of course it's not going to be perfect and I'm not surprised that I haven't see hundreds of salvations just yet. And another thing that hit me is that prayer is just as important in missions work as visiting orphanages and feeding the homeless and rescuing girls from sex trafficking. We've been doing heaps of prayer on this outreach and also have stood along side of the staff in Riga and Cahul and helped them in furthering their ministry to share the gospel. And the plus side is, along the way, we truly have had the opportunity to share the gospel with people even if they can't completely understand because of the language barrier. I believe that our job is to be obedient and God will take care of the rest. Salvation doesn't lie in our hands, but sharing does. So in the midst of realizing of all of these things, I asked God to just confirm for me that what I did on this outreach was really what He wanted--that I didn't fail Him in some way. And this morning, as we were leading intercession for the base, we had the opportunity to hear an amazing testimony from a man who has literally given everything for Christ. He's just recently adopted 3 orphan kids that were neglected by their alcoholic parents and left on the streets for 3 years. The kids have recently been in the hospital because of pretty bad health problems as well. And, this man already has 3 biological kids and he said that he was also sick with pretty bad back pain. While he was saying all of this, he kept slipping in how much he was greatful for God's provision and he also told us that he was greatful for the ministry we were doing here and he was sure that God had called us here. After that, we prayed for him, and I felt God confirm to me that He had me here for a reason and this outreach our team has sewn so many seeds that many people later on down the road will reap. We were laying the foundations for more ministry and furthering of the gospel in the future! I felt joy after that meeting. We also had goodbye dinner with the staff here (Lilia, Virginia, and the family of 4) and they blessed us with homemade cooking and great dessert! But more than that, they shared how much of a blessing we had been to their base and Virginia told us that when she heard an all girl team was coming, she thought, "oh, this is going to be very interesting". But once she saw a picture of us, she said she could see the greatness in our eyes and that we had proven that right--that we are a powerful team. And that also was a confirmation to me that God really was proud of our team even though I felt like we didn't do as much as I expected to do.

I was feeling really conflicted and confused about debrief and just outreach in general, like that I had to be completely selfless all the time, almost to the point where I was prideful. And also feeling like this outreach in Moldova was purposeless and we weren't really running towards any goal. So one of my teammates, Josie, came in after talking with our school leader, Dukes, on skype and just encouraged us with saying that we should ask God the big questions, like what specifically does God have for me on outreach in Moldova? What is my role in this team and in serving the people here? Also she told us that Dukes was telling her about baptisms the Thailand team got to do in a prison, and how they shared the gospel message and saw over 100 salvations. And she was saying that they were able to reap the fruit that had been sown. It helped put things into perspective how we haven't been seeing much fruit yet here on outreach. It's because YWAM just started recently here in Moldova and not a ton of mission work has been done here compared to Thailand, so we are actually the ones sewing the harvest--it's just a very different outreach team we have. So after hearing this, we decided to keep on worshipping and praying and asking God what He had for us. Jessica read the passage from 1 Peter 4:7-11 that talks about love covering a multitude of sins and that each one should use their own gift they have received to serve others, so that in all things all praise will be brought to God through Jesus. That started me thinking a lot about how I need to really pray and ask God how I can really be serving here, and it took pressure off of me to have to do everything right and like carry the team somehow and make sure I'm being completely selfless and stuff. Then she read out of this devotional book called Jesus Calling by Sara Young and it said, "I am leading you, step by step, through your life. Hold my hand in trusting dependence, letting me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy--even precarious. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping a things that are mine. This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebellion: doubting my promises to care for you. Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and return to me. I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in my presence, trusting me to open up the way before you as you go. (Deut 29:29; Psalm 32:8)". This really spoke to all of us because we were also all worried about what we were doing when we went home and even just the next few weeks of this trip. After that, Emma walked in and told us how her conversation with Dukes went and she said that they talked about the future and how Emma really wasn't thinking about the future at all and just focusing on the here and now. Then we read out to her the passage that Jess read. We talked a lot about purpose here in Moldova as well. Then we shared with her what we read in 1 Peter and she told us she was praying the exact thing over our team on the way back from talking with Dukes! So after that, me and Jess were saying how we really felt like God was piecing together all of the things in our hearts and minds that we had been struggling with. I physically felt that I could breathe better after that. Then we also realized a bit later that Emma had shared earlier the day before about having a firm foundation (the wise and foolish builders passage in the gospels) and how she was praying into that, and we realized that all of this stuff we were focusing on really need to have a firm foundation in Christ.

Also I'm learning that everything that I have been learning IS a learning process. I know, it doesn't seem to make sense. But let me try to describe it. I sometimes get frustrated with myself that these revelations or realizations haven't sunk in completely and I haven't been perfect in applying them to my life and all that. Then I realized, woah, all of these things that I'm processing are huge things, and it WILL take me a while to really wrap my head around them and grow in them.

Ok, that's about it for now. Sorry for the abrupt ending, but that's just a fraction of what God has been growing me in recently!

Can't wait to see you all.

xoxo,
Laura

Moldova Part 1: First Experiences

Hello all! I'm back in Riga now and just spent two weeks in Moldova finishing up ministry! Just an overview of what we did ministry wise: spoke in churches and youth events, prayer walks, teaching English, going to disabled school. Below is just a few of the highlights for me.

Our team will stay in Riga until the 8th for debrief week and then fly back to Newcastle for commissioning week. I get home the 18 of March.

Quick note: This blog was written as a journal every night before I went to bed or whenever I needed to get my thoughts down on "paper". So this was written over the course of the 2 weeks I was in Moldova! Some things are written in past tense, and some present, because of the span of time I wrote it in--so don't be confused :)

I'm not sure where to even start. Before traveling to Moldova, I felt like God was preparing me to just really go hard while being there. I myself wanted to just really give these last two weeks my all. One, because I think this time is an opportune time for the enemy to attack our team. The reason I say that is because since we're so close to being done with outreach, it would be easy for us to just coast and think about going home and being reunited with our friends and family. I also think since the culture and spiritual climate here is so much different (and I'll get to that later) that it would make us an easy target for attacks. And the second reason why I want to give it my all is because I have been realizing as of late that I had sort of been relaxing ministry wise in Riga. Of course I particpated in outreach there, but I don't think that my heart was totally in it. And I want that to change while we're here in Moldova.

While traveling to Moldova, I felt really cheerful and happy and was just laughing a lot. For the most part, our flights and such were really smooth and traveling in general wasn't bad. Once we landed in the capital, Chisinau, it was about 1:30 am. We were all pretty tired and weren't really sure what was happening. We weren't sure who was picking us up and how we were getting to the place where we were staying or anything like that. Just to give a bit of background on the country of Moldova, it's the poorest country in Europe  and nicknamed the "Africa" of Europe. In 2000, around 10 million people lived in Moldova, but now only about 3.5 million do. That's because people can't find jobs here so they leave to countries like Russia, Italy, and Spain to find work. Often times parents leave their children with neighbors or grandparents. And this is also the way that people are trafficked--because they are so desperate to get out of the country that they'll agree to do work in other countries even without knowing really what they're getting into.  So, all of us knew that it was going to be impoverished, but I wasn't expecting what we saw. After a few hours, we arrived to the place we were staying at in Cahul (a small town 3 hours outside the capital). Our team was split up into two different apartments, and at this point it was like 4:30 am, and all we wanted to do was sleep. Oh, by the way, there's like virtually no city lighting in this place so we couldn't even see where we were. I think our team felt a bit of fear and anxiousness for a bit because we had really no idea what was happening or where we were, and we were in a country we had never been to before and a very poor one at that. We had to trust who was driving us and who was leading us to our apartments even though we only knew that they were part of ywam. The whole time I felt like we were just praying protection over our team and God really saw that through. We made it safely to our designated apartments (I'm staying with 4 other girls in a family's flat and the other 4 girls are staying with our contacts), and slept the whole night (day? haha) through until 1pm. When we woke up, we still didn't really know what was happening, but that was fine because we all had peace that God had it under control. We met up with the other half of our team and headed out to find some food for breakfast the next morning.

This is where it get's hard to explain for me. I'll try to do my best in describing what it's like here. Since we're not in the capital city, it's even less developed I feel than what it is in Chisinau. Anyway, we walked outside of our apartment, and there was just trash and dirt everywhere. The sun was no where to be seen, so just a fog of gray covered the place. There were makeshift playgrounds for kids outside the pretty run down apartment building. To my right there were big garbage bins with about 3 or 4 stray dogs there just digging through it. My heart broke at the moment when I realized that we really were in a country stricken with poverty. We started walking, and we continued to see tons of stray dogs around the place (I suppose it would remind me of Mexico if I had ever been there) and let me tell you about the people. It's so strange because while we were in Riga,  I felt like we blended in relatively well and the only way people could tell we were foreigners was because we would speak English or talk pretty loudly. But here, even if we are completely silent, people just KNOW we are foreigners. They stare, and a lot. It's crazy. I've never felt so on the outside than I do here. I guess I just assumed that here it would be like Riga except a little bit more poor. But it's absolutely completely different. I feel so out of my element here. I've been praying a lot about how to portray how things are like here and what I've been learning, and I feel like God just wants me to do my best in describing, and He'll take care of the rest. I don't have to try to explain every single detail to you because you're not here, so you won't exactly be able to feel everything I'm feeling and see everything I'm seeing. That may sound harsh but in reality, that's how it is and it's really hard for me to not be able to explain things better. And when I get home, I'm still a bit worried about how to explain and describe all of my experiences to you, but I have realized that, hopefully you will be able to see the changes through how I act and how God is working through me.

I also want to share about the villages that I've been to. I didn't even know there were such a thing as villages really anywhere in Europe. I always envisioned villages as being in India, or Africa, or Mexico maybe. But never Europe. So when our contact told us we were going to a village, I was surprised and actually had no idea what to expect. Since this outreach has been one where we're not really sure what is happening and what exactly schedules are like, we've been used to just going with the flow and being flexible. So, one day we were told we were going to be teaching English somewhere, and Katie, Jessica, and I volunteered to go. We actually didn't even know what age group we were going to be speaking to, or acutally where we were going. I just assumed we were going to go to the church we had been to and have an English class there. So, our contact, Lilia walked us to the place we were getting picked up at and we got in a van with a pastor of some church and then our 14 year old translator, David. On our way there, (still not knowing really what was happening but trusting that God had it all planned out perfectly despite of our obliviousness), we were swerving to avoid a ton of potholes because the road conditions were so poor. On either side of the road, there were crop fields that went on forever it seemed. But it was all just so desolate and empty. As we kept driving, we saw rolling hills (but not the pretty kind you think of) filled with houses with tin roofs. This is when we asked David if we were in a village, and he said yes. We got further into the village and there were many makeshift houses and lots of trash and rubble around everywhere. It was like we went back in time or something. There were water wells and a few horse drawn wagon/wheelbarrows. We got out of the car and just stood there dazed. I didn't feel like it was real life either. We were going to do an English class in a "school", for the kids who wanted to come actually outside of their normal school to learn English. It was likean English club. The outside of the church was still being built, so it was just the foundation built with a few walls up--it kind of reminded me of something you'd see in the anciet Mayan ruins or something. Anyway, the room was in the basement of this church. We went down into it and it was really quaint and decorated plainly but somehow beautiful. It sort of reminded us of Little House on the Praire. Anyway, we taught the kids about animals and it didn't go at all how we planned, but that was fine, because I love it when God works through us when we have to be spontaneous. The kids were so eager to learn English and it was really refreshing to see. I loved hearing their laughter and joy when we did something silly or someone made a joke. It was a lot of fun.

The other village I went to was with Kathryn on a Sunday morning. We were told that we would be giving testimonies at a church there and that it was very conservative so we had to wear dresses, little makeup, and no jewelry. When we drove to the village, it was about the same scenery as the last one, except not quite as impoverished it seemed. When we walked into the church, there was about 10 elderly women standing in the pews waiting to greet us with kind handshakes and some with kisses. It was very sweet. They tried to talk to us in Russian or Romanian but of course we did not understand, so our contact Lilia tried to help us the best she could. None of the women's husbands were there with them, the only men in the small church sanctuary were the pastor and a guest and his son. We were sitting on the opposite sides of the room as well. As we were sitting down, awkwardly waiting for the service to start, a woman in the back started singing a song in Russian and others joined in, so we just sat back and listened with delight. Then we stood up and they started singing more songs, and I was just trying to worship God the best I knew how without knowing the song they were singing. One kind lady came up to be with a hymnal trying to show me what song we were singing and I just smiled and said, "sorry, only English". Then she understood and went back to her seat. I was really touched by the kind gesture. After a few songs, we sat down, and the pastor invited Lilia up to share something and then invited me up to share my testimony. Nervously and uncertainly, I got up and started to share a story from lecture phase where I clearly heard God's voice about washing people's feet. While I was sharing, a few ladies in the back were observing me pretty harshly it seemed, and the rest either had smiles on their face like they were interested in what I had to say, and some just looked stoic. The whole time I was just trusting the Holy Spirit to speak through me completely exactly what I need to share. Then Kathryn got up to share as well, and after that, the pastor shared a short word from Psalm. Then a guest from Bulgaria I think stood up and shared from the passage in John 15 about abiding in Christ and the importance of that. That was cool in and of itself because I had just been studying that passage a few days before. After that, we stood up and sang another song, and then one lady, Valentina, stood up and was having a conversation with the pastor (we had no idea what they were talking about) and she accepted Christ into her life that day! It was incredible. Then we got in groups of 3 and just prayed for each other and worshipped some more--there was a lot of sitting down and standing up. Then after, we were told we were going to a lady's house in the village for something. Still not sure of what was going on, we walked out to leave only to get joyfully stopped by the ladies to hug us and kiss us. They thanked us and we tried to thank them back as much as we could. Then Valentina stopped us. I won't forget the look of joy she had on her face after that service. She was smiling so brightly and just hugging us and kissing us with all her might. It was beautiful. We eventually had to leave, and so we got into the pastor's car and patiently waited to go to this house. Since the roads are pretty horrendous in Cahul, let alone the villages, we were expecting a bumpy ride to the house. But, we weren't expecting this! We pretty much drove through a forest to get to this ladie's house and got stuck in the mud a few times. Even though it looked really scary and unsure, I was totally at peace and comfortable with the whole situation because I was trusting that God was taking care of us. I think normally I would have freaked out and got really nervous and scared, but it was different this time. I think that through outreach, God has taught me to be really flexible and trust in Him for every hour of everyday, despite not knowing what is going on. Anyway, we got to this elderly woman's house and walked in, and she willingly and graciously offered me her house shoes to wear. It was such a simple act of kindness, but it really blessed me and encouraged me more that people here are so hospitable and open. I still wasn't sure what was going on, but as she was leading us into a bedroom, I had a feeling that we'd be praying for a sick person laying in the bed. When we walked in, her husband was sitting on the bed. It's hard to describe what he looked like and what emotion I saw coming out of him. Physically, he looked mostly fine, except he had one droopy eye and it looked like there was paralysis on that side of his face, so we assumed he had sometime recently had a stroke. He was leaning on one hand, his elbow to his knee, and he looked really downcast and defeated. This man's wife and the pastor were talking back and forth and it was hard to see what was going on the whole time, but we found out that the man, Simion, had started having heart problems in December and wasn't doing well, so his wife wanted prayer for him. She was a Christian, but not for too long I don't think, and he came from a Christian family, but had never accepted Christ into his heart. We stood up and started praying for him, and I was just praying God's truth to really be revealed to his heart, as well as physical healing. We sat back down and they started dialoging more, and we found out that the pastor was just sharing the gospel with him, and Simion said that he believed all of the things, but he wasn't really ready to accept yet and give Christ his life. So the pastor just encouraged him to read scripture and to really discover for himself who Christ is and when he is ready to accept, to just pray it out. All the while this conversation was happening, Simion still looked pretty somber and sad, and there were tears rolling down his face. It was actually really heartbreaking to see, but I walked out of that house with so much joy in my heart because I knew God has his heart. He's so on the verge of Christ in his life that I could taste it! I don't know, I just felt peace about the whole situation. While we were driving back from the village, Lilia shared with me that the name of the village was "Bucuria" which means "joy" in English. I was seriously so excited when I heard that because I really felt that God's joy was over that place even though it didn't seem like it.

**Those were just a few of my thoughts during this trip, and stay tuned for the next blog about what God really was teaching me through it all!

Love you all, see you soon.
xoxo,
Laura

God is Faithful

Well, one more week left in Riga!! Time has gone by incredibly quickly and I have mixed feelings about it. I'm super excited to go to Moldova for two weeks, but I also really love it here. We've got to do some amazing ministry and we've seen fruit come out of it too, so that's awesome!

This last week we were part of serving the European Leaders Gathering for YWAM. Basically, about 150 Euros from different YWAM bases all over Europe were gathered for 4 days for a conference. Our team did a lot of hospitality stuff, serving food, cleaning bathrooms, etc. But we were able to be a part of some worship times and we were also able to network with people during break times. It was actually pretty sweet to be able to talk to people from all over Europe. Since, as you know, Germany has been on my heart recently, I jumped at the chance to talk to people from the Germany bases. I got to talk to one woman, Toni, from the Herrnhut base, and she gave me really good advice on how to deal with my next steps in deciding what to do with my future after DTS and how I can best honor my parents in my decisions and stuff, and she gave me practical ways to be involved in missions and she told me she'd love to have me at any of the YWAM bases in Germany in the future. So, that's exciting! But yeah, I've just been thinking a lot about my future after DTS and what I want to do. I think I've decided what my next step is, but I got really good advice week this and that's that I need to just focus on the next thing God has asked me to do and not try to plan my whole future out. So that's helped a lot.

Another thing God has really revealed to me this past week is why I've struggled with certain things in the past and I've seen a lot of His promises fulfilled. As some of you may know, I used to struggle with depression pretty heavily when I was younger, and I always wondered why God had me in that place, and why I had to deal with it at such a young age. And people always told me that maybe I was going to be able to minister and help people in the future who have or do struggle with the same thing. And for the last few years since recovering from it, I never saw that come true. But this week I was able to share my full testimony with one of my friends who struggles with depression/anxiety, and she told me, "you have no idea how much that's helped me". I think because I could really truly understand what she was going through from experience, and I wasn't just someone telling her they really knew how she felt even though they didn't, that spoke heaps to her. I've never felt so deeply for someone as I did this week. I would never wish upon anything what I had to feel for so long and so deeply. And I wish she wouldn't have to deal with it, but God's got it under control. So yeah, this week I've discovered why I had to deal with it for so long and I'm actually thankful that I did because my words would have just fallen to the floor in front of her if I didn't understand what she was going through.

God has proved himself to be so faithful and amazing the last week! I'm super excited to see what God has for our team in Moldova, and I also can't wait to get back and share lots of stories with you guys!

Love you and miss you all.

xoxo,
Laura

God is great!

Hello again from Riga!

The last week or two since I've updated have been sort of crazy! We've traveled around quite a bit so that's been a little hectic.

This past week our team went to Ventspils, a small town of about 45,000 people just a few hours outside of Riga. We went with a girl who heads up Freedom 61 (Kristina) here and met up with a few other YWAMmers once we got there. Our purpose for the trip was to reach out to people of all ages and minister to their needs. We went to this orphange combined with an old folk's home. The first 3 floors were for the elderly and the top floor was an orphange. Most of the kids in the orphange have parents, they just aren't capable of taking care of them due to addictions and sorts. We went to that place a few times and it was incredible. With the old folks, we sang worship songs and prayed with them and chatted with them. One of my team members, Manuela, was able to pray for this woman who was blind in one eye. The woman asked if she could pray for her sight, so Manu did. After the prayer, the woman said her eyesight didn't get better, but immediately after Manu started praying, the pain in her broken arm left her body. The woman was so encouraged by that she asked Manu to pray again. This time Manu (like a pro!) put her hands over the woman's eyes and prayed for them. Once she finished, the woman said she could see more clearly now. We came back a few days later and the woman testified that she believed Manu was a miracle from God sent to her specifically to pray for healing for her. It was incredible. I was sitting right by Manuela when she was praying for her and was able to support her in prayer. It was incredible to watch. At the orphanage, we were able to sing worship songs and play games with the kids. I didn't personally connect with any of them super well, but it was really sweet to see my teammates step it up and lead out in games and songs and connect with the kids. That was also really fun to be a part of. Another thing we were able to do was go into high schools with Kristina and talk about human trafficking with them. We did a prevention program which looked like this: Kristina introduced herself but didn't say she was part of Freedom 61, then introduced myself and Katie. Either her or I would go up and tell the youth that we were from America and were looking for people to come work for an organization back there which would provide them with further job qualities and was absolutely free, and they'd get paid! All they had to do was sign a document and we'd take care of the rest. Then we'd ask for one guy and one girl to volunteer to go and we'd ask them to come up on stage. Then Kristina and I would bind their wrists with rope and she would tell them that the boy had just been trafficked into a factory where he worked 17 hours a day with no pay and little food or water. The girl had been trafficked into a brothel where she was forced to sell her body for her pimp's profit. This was all fake of course, but Kristina went in to explaining human trafficking and how easy it is to get tricked into it. Most girls who work in brothels in Western Europe are trafficked from Eastern Europe. Then we'd read of some statistics on human trafficking and show a video of a girl who was trafficked from Riga. Kristina would end the presentation by handing them an information card about the organization and with a human trafficking hotline numer on it. The presentations were powerful and I think really beneficial in raising awareness of this issue. One team got to pray for this guy who was traveling to do missions work with an organization like Freedom 61. That was sweet!

Another thing we got the privilege of doing was sharing testimonies and leading worship and different churches around Ventspils. Most of the time we were put on the spot and had to think of testimonies to share right then and there. But it was sweet to see God work through that and in our unpreparedness.

We stayed at this man's house who we did a lot of church ministry with. We originally were staying at a church but some stuff didn't work out so we had to leave, and this man graciously offered his home to us for the week. He had 6 kids and one on the way, and opened up his home to us like it was our own. He was the most generous man I've met. The first night we arrived there, he went out and bought us all really nice scarves because he thought we looked cold. And throughout the week he bought us chocolates and drove us everywhere we needed to go. Seriously, I admire him so much. His name is Juris and his family is beautiful. He sort of pastors this Roma (or "Gypsy") church and their worship style is incredible. They go for hours and just worship their brains out. It's really cool to be a part of. We also got to hang out with a lot of young people our age there and are still trying to stay connected with them.

Overall, that week was incredible! We came back a bit exhausted, but we're still going! We have 2 weeks left in Riga and then we're heading to Moldova for the last 3 weeks of outreach and then back to Australia for debrief/commissioning week! I'm really excited for the rest of outreach to see what God's going to do!

In other news, God's been developing my love for His Word more and more recently. One of my friends Emma affectionately calls me the Bible guru because I tend to know a lot of verses and references and stuff. I want to memorize more and have a deep knowledge of God's word and know how to interpret it and apply it and know where passages come from and all of that. I think I'd love to take theology classes or something when I'm back from DTS. I read the Beatitudes the other day and I was pleasantly enlightened by them. I also assumed that the context of the people talked about was bad. Like the poor in spirit, and the meek and all of that. But really they are all in the context of being at this incredible humble stage before God. Poor in spirit meaning you recognize your sinful condition and you know that there is nothing you can do on your own to change it, but you also recognize God's immense power and grace and mercy in relationship to your state. I just never thought of it like that, and I love how something so simple and something I've read dozens of time gave me a new perspective on things in the word. So cool!

God's also been speaking to me about my future after DTS. Germany is still on my heart a lot and I'm excited to jump into learning the language when I get back home. I can't wait to see where God leads me with my desire for there, but I'm sure it will be something mind blowing!

I'm excited to get back and see you all again, as I miss you heaps. Love you guys ton. Keep in touch!

Also, some prayer points:

-I'm a bit homesick--pray that I can focus solely on my mission here and make the most out of it as I'll never get this time back.
-Unity in our team
-People we come in contact with and minister to
-Safety as we travel to Moldova

Love you all.
xoxo,
Laura

Labdien!

Hello friends!

I'm safe and sound here in Riga, Latvia! It's beautiful here, but really cold. It's been down to -6 degrees farenheit, which means I've had to wear about 6 layers plus my coat! It's pretty crazy. The city is beautiful, it's incredibly rich in architecture, and everything seems to have a story. It's funny because in America, everything is so new, all the buildings are modern, the streets are perfectly paved, etc. But here, all of the buildings have been around for ages, the streets are cobble stone, and there are lamp posts here that look like they could come straight out of Narnia. We've been expecting Mr. Tumnis to pop up somewhere ;)

Ministry here has looked quite different than when we were in Sydney. Because we have a contact here now, we have a pretty tight schedule of what we're doing everyday. It's different but good. We're working with the YWAM team here, and partnering with their ministry of Freedom 61, which ministers to the prostitutes in the area. They have a cafe that allows them to invite the girls for a cup of coffee and a welcoming chat. We've been going on lots of prayer walks at night which has been really good. It's been freezing and exhausting, but I think sometimes that's where God works the most--where you're at a point in time that you can't physically or emotionally do anything in your power to change the situation, God brings you through it. We've prayed for brothels, which are under the name of strip clubs or bars, because brothels are illegal here. The interesting thing is that street prostitution here is legal, so we've seen quite a few prostitutes walking around the streets at night. They area we've been praying in we've seen a lot of sketch things, like men in taxis waiting to deal drugs. It's been really eye opening because back in the states I'm so sheltered and I don't ever see things like this happening. It's a whole new world out there really. The other really cool thing we've been able to do is go to a day center for kids that have neglected or abuse backgrounds. The day center I went to is located in a 3 room apartment and is run by this incredible woman, Leeana, a pure Latvian woman! She watches kids 5 days a week for 8 hours a day. When I went, I went with Katie and Manu, and when we arrived, we helped her finish making dinner, then we all sat down with the kids and ate a meal together. It was incredible. Such a small thing, but it made me feel like I was at home, and I'm sure the kids felt that way too. Then we helped her clean the house a bit while trading off playing with the kids. The kids spoke a tiny bit of English, but not well enough to be able to effectively communicate with them. Somehow though, I was still able to understand them and feel their desperation for love and attention. I fell in love with 3 little girls named Laura, Elsa, and Patricia. They were the sweetest things and gave us hugs when we left. I'm excited to go back and spend more time with them. When we walked to the bus station after that day in the dark, I felt a sense of depression. I think God reminded me of times in my past where I struggled with depression and anxiety, and just a feeling of lonliness even when I was surrounded by people. Then I thought, this is what these kids must feel when they walk home, when they aren't at that day center. A lot of them come from terrible homes, so the day center is really the only happy place they can be. I prayed for them all the way home. God is in the process of breaking my heart for these children. It's hard but amazing.

That's what this week has looked like, and our team is really excited to see how God uses us to reach His people here.

In other news, the food here is amazing! We get fresh bread from a bakery every morning (which is like a dream to me) and the fruit here is so cheap and delicious. Food here in general is pretty inexpensive. I love it. It's been really fun to cook with Manu here. I feel fine eating really well here because we've been walking so much ;)

Another thing I'd like to share with you guys is just how much I've noticed my excitement for life since being on a DTS. When I was in high school, I was really just going through the motions and not craving to learn anything new, or experience anything new. But since being on my DTS, I'm so excited for my future. I'm excited to get back into school again and learn new things, I'm excited to one day have my own aparment and decorate pinterest style, and I'm excited for lots more things. I've decided I want to learn how to play some instruments, and I'm going to learn German as well, and I kind of want to learn how to beat box (I know, it sounds crazy), and how to do some accents well. I'm just excited for life! And I'm excited for God to be alongside with me the whole way :)

Well, it's time for me to sign out, but I'll talk to you soon. Love you heaps.
xoxo,
Laura.

Living like Jesus: loving the prostitutes, homeless, drug addicts, and cross-dressers.

The first week of outreach is complete! It’s hard to even begin to describe how incredible this week was and how much God moved through our team. To make it easier for both myself and friends reading this, I’ll try to go day by day and give you a highlight or two!

On Friday, our team of 8 (Fearless leader Kathryn, Katie, Josie, Manuela, Emma, Savannah, Haley, and myself—and Jessica will join soon!) left for Sydney early that morning after saying bittersweet goodbyes to a few friends at the base. From the beginning, God spoke to our team that we would be a team of joy and laughter. After so many obstacles we’ve overcome, we were certain that those two things would be the glue for our team. To give you a bit of background, we were originally supposed to go to Amsterdam for a week before Latvia/Moldova, but because of the price of plane tickets, we weren’t able to. After we crossed that disappointment, we found out that our team leader, Talea, wouldn’t be joining us due to health reasons. When we found out, we were all pretty upset, but after taking some time to process and pray, we felt privileged in a way (even though it sounds strange) that the enemy would be trying to throw so many impediments in our way because he obviously felt threatened by our team’s ability to serve Christ well. Anyways, after lots of walking and searching, we found the house we were going to be staying at for the week. When we walked in, we were instantly charmed! It’s a beautiful and quaint house that we lovingly named Martha. We rested for just a bit then we headed off to the grocery store to buy heaps of groceries for the week. My friend Manuela and I are in charge of food for this outreach, which includes meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking. It’s been fun thus far :)) Not much happened the rest of the day, but throughout the day we continued to pray for joy and laughter and God definitely blessed us with it!

We woke up refreshed and excited Saturday morning for the day, and we spent time in prayer, intercession, and worship, asking God what He wanted us to do that day. We all felt like we were supposed to go to Bondi beach to pray, worship, and talk to people. While we were there, we worshipped as a group on a staircase and while we were, people would give us strange looks and smiles, but we could just feel that we were impacting the beach just by singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God! My highlight of the day was being able to talk to this little Egyptian man named Antonio. Manuela and I started talking to him and he just shared with us his culture and heritage and how much he loved God and it was really amazing. We got to pray for him and were encouraged my him praying for us in return. We got his address and told him we’d send him a picture of our team for him to have. That day, God really showed up and blessed me with a great conversation after feeling defeated and that I hadn’t impacted anyone yet. God is a God who keeps His promises!

On Sunday morning we woke up to go the church, and we were excited to see what God had in store for us that day. We went to church, and Manuela and Katie shared their testimonies in front of the church, and one of the testimonies lead people to tears. It was incredible. My highlight of that day was when we were in the market place that afternoon walking around and blessing people with flowers, and Emma and I came across a beautiful woman sitting down on a bench and we felt led to give a flower to her. Emma started the conversation and while she was telling her that we wanted her to know God loved her and that she was beautiful, her face was really perplexed. She then told us that she didn’t know much English and that she was French (so automatically I was drawn to her because I love Euros).  So I repeated what Emma said and she just lit up and smiled so brightly. I told her “bonjour” and she replied with “merci!” It was a beautiful moment for me. God is a God who loves to show His children He loves them!

We woke up Monday morning feeling encouraged for the day and ready for God to move! We prayed, interceded, and worshipped just like we do every morning and earnestly asked God what He wanted us to do. He told us to go to King’s Cross (which is the red light district of Sydney) and pray and minister to people. I was especially excited to go. Once we got there and split up into partners and started praying, most of the team got a strange feeling come over them. It turns out we were on the opposite side of the street we were supposed to be at, but nonetheless, we were already starting to feel the spiritual attacks coming on us. I personally felt like I was just walking around in a dream, like I wasn’t in the real world. It was a strange feeling and I don’t even think I could explain it to you if I was staring at you in the face. Katie and I were walking and praying and suddenly we came across a super sus place called “The Tunnel Club”. It was in an alley way and was painted black and had signs that said “24 hour security” and “guest list entry only” and I saw up above barred windows with tattered curtains in them. We were pretty sure that it was a brothel as well, and as soon as I saw the windows, I envisioned a bedroom with a girl trapped in there against her own will, in her own living hell. We prayed for that and walked around the corner and all the sudden it was bam bam bam! All of these night clubs, adult stores, strip clubs, and shady stores. We were shocked at it and felt sick to our stomaches. We were praying more than ever, and we saw multiple prostitutes walk by, some more obvious than others. We saw one of the more obvious ones in a risqué bra and track pants, with eccentric makeup on and trashy hair. We automatically felt like we were supposed to talk to her but we didn’t know how. Anyway, we ended up talking to her and we heard her story, her heartbreaking story, and we asked if we could pray for her, and at first she said no, but then something broke in her spirit and she complied. So Katie layed hands on her and prayed for her, and she started sobbing. We then said goodbye, and she gave Katie a sweet hug, and when I went in for a hug, I felt like to give her a kiss on the cheek, and she did the same. I had a kiss mark on my cheek and I didn’t ever want to take it off. I felt like I kissed Jesus that day. She was beautiful and I will always remember Xena. That day changed my life. God is a God who loves the unlovable.

The next day we felt to go back to King’s Cross. But before, we decided to worship in the market place a bit. While we were worshipping, we were approached by a homeless looking man named Tom, and we got to have a really amazing conversation with him about life and eternity and God. We got to pray for him and when we did, he was crying. It’s amazing to see how much God works when we ask for people to talk to. We then headed off to King’s Cross. When we got there, the atmosphere was a lot heavier than the day before. There were a few fights breaking out between prostitutes over drug deals and things, and a few of the girls were approached and mistaken as prostitutes, and a lot of us were rejected by people we tried to talk to. I was to give away my water bottle to a pot dealer which was really sweet. But besides that, we were all feeling pretty defeated. When we were getting ready to head out, Emma and Manuela walk up with a really thin and ragged looking woman whose legs looked like they hadn’t been shaven for months and had missing teeth.  We started chatting with her, and for some reason, God spoke to me about giving away my purity ring to her. I was shocked and I was like, “heck no, God. That’s weird. I want that ring. It’s special”. But I asked her what sort of jewelry she liked and she said rings. I told God, “ok, God, I got it”. So at the end of our conversation, I gave her my ring and it fit perfectly on her finger. It was amazing. I was moved so much by that and I think  I was blessed more by Anita than I blessed her. God is a generous God who loves for people to be the same.

The following day we woke up feeling really heavy and defeated and when we went to worship in the market place, we felt a lot of spiritual attacks. We came back to the house early and shared our hearts and prayed for each other. After that, we went out to pick up trash and talk to people. For me, I wasn’t able to talk to anyone, but it was a good day of letting God ministering to me. God is a God who wants to refresh his children.

On our last day of ministry, today, we felt to go to King’s Cross one last time and give  a backpack full of toiletries, clothes, encouraging words, and food to Anita. Although that was really sweet to be able to bless her with, there was one other incident that stood out to me more than that. As we were worshipping on a corner in King’s Cross, a transvestite came and sat down a few feet away from us. While we were singing, he started getting angry and tried to throw newspaper at us (which obviously wouldn’t work haha). Before he did that, Manu and I felt like we were supposed to go talk to him. After that happened, though, I felt really scared. He started walking over to us, and I just started praying for God’s protection and an invisible force field around us. He walked up and asked us if we were Christians and we said yes, and then he said, “me too!” really enthusiastically and gave Emma a high five. He then asked us to sing Amazing Grace for him, so we did. Then after that, he asked us to sing Father Abraham. Though strange, we did, and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Manu and I went over and talked to him, and we had a very interesting conversation. I can’t really explain it, but I’m pretty sure he had a demon inside of him. He knew about Jesus and some scripture, but he kept saying that he was a black angel and dabbled in black magic. It was also like he was on drugs, but I truly think it was a dark spirit inside of him. We didn’t really get to pray for him or share the gospel with him, but I think that just talking with him made an impact, because we were “normal people” actually enjoying talking to him. God is a god who honours His children.

Overall, this  week has been incredible. It’s only the first week and we’re not even in Europe yet! God wants to do so many amazing teams in and through our team and I can’t wait to see what He has in store for us. Keep praying for our team and we look forward to updating you more! J xoxo,

Laura.